Journaling

Tip Says: Journaling can be a great tool. It helps to take the thoughts out from inside of your head and get them TF out. It can also help you to notice any recurring patterns in your thoughts. The thoughts we have help form our mindset for how we live our lives, but our thoughts are not always facts. In the dysregulated mind we tend to have many recurring negative thoughts that we convince ourselves are truths, the more we encourage these thoughts and believe that they are truths the more we in turn, live them out.

I have found that I prefer not to use a strict journaling method, but rather a combo of all of these different types of journaling depending on the day, week or month. Some people swear by using one method and they use it daily and that's fantastic. What's important is to think of this as a practice and that to practice means to try and try again. Don't' worry if you don't "keep up" with it, maybe it helps for a little while and then you're not feeling it. Healing is a journey of moving through your cycles and working towards understanding and progressing yourself through them. This means you can always come back at a later time to try things out again and see how they work for you at different stages. Play around with different structures and find what benefits YOU! Keep a journal by your bed, carry a journal with you, or use an app on your phone if that's more convenient for you. As with all habits and practices it takes time to fully form them, about 18-66 days.

gratitude JOURNALING

This form of journaling is great for first thing in the morning. Finding things to be grateful for when we first wake up can help us to form an optimistic/appreciative view for the day ahead.

How to: Take a few intentional full deep breaths. Think of 3-5 things that you are grateful for. Write them out in your journal. Repeat them once or twice in your head or aloud. Follow up by saying "thank you".

Example: I am grateful for having a bed to sleep in and a roof over my head.

I am grateful for my best friend listening to me without judgement.

I am grateful for myself for taking the opportunity to grow today.

Thank you.

This practice is about shifting your mindset toward the positive and to be thankful for what we do have in the moment, even if for just a moment. It can be helpful to follow this up with a short affirmations practice.

It's important to keep your affirmations believable for you. Maybe you are stronger than you think having been through what you have, but saying I AM STRONG doesn't feel believable for you. Maybe it makes you feel ingenuine and dishonest to say. Instead, you could say I AM WORKING ON FINDING MY STRENGTH or I AM OPEN TO FINDING MY STRENGTH. Other examples of affirmations are, I AM LOVE, I AM BRAVE, I AM OPEN TO GROWTH.

You can say these aloud, write them down, say them in your mind. You could write them down in dry erase marker on your mirror, or put them on post it notes in a place you will see them, so you can come back to them throughout the day or week.

fEar JOURNALING

This can be done anytime you are experiencing fears, anxieties or resentments. I like to do this on days where I wake up already feeling fearful or anxious. It can be done at anytime throughout the day however, and I suggest carrying a small notebook with you for these occasions.

How to: You can do this any time of the day that works best for you. Write out the fears that are weighing on you in the current moment. No need to dig up past fears or try to write out ALL your fears and resentments. If you are feeling resentment towards someone or something, follow it up with, "because I have fear that..." At the end of this release your fears to the winds, to the universe, to God, or whatever higher power you choose.

Example: -I have fear that no one will really love me because I have fear that I am unlovable.

-I am resentful toward my partner for not listening to me today because I have fear of not being understood.

-I have anxiety about starting my new job because I have fear that I am not qualified.

I release these fears to the universe. I ask for guidance and wisdom to move through these feelings.

This practice is about release. You can tear these pages up, burn them, throw them in the trash, compost them. You could use a dry erase board for this practice and wipe them away. After this practice, it can be highly beneficial to take 10 or so minutes to do a chant meditation.

You can use a standard chant word such as, OM. Or you can find a word that gives you hope or empowers you that day such as, STRENGTH, LOVE, PEACE, BLESSED, BADASS. You can also use a phrase, such as I AM. You can also simply hum in a tone that feels good to you. Make it yours. Find a safe quiet space alone, do this in the bathroom if you need to. Sit comfortably, place your hands gently on your knees, or in a prayer position at your heart, or if you like to fidget hold a fidget object. Feel your self grounded into your seat on the ground or on your chair. Feel your spine pulling straight up from the ground and extending to the sky above you. If you tend to move a lot feel free to sway gently. Repeat your chant word or phrase aloud if possible, if not repeat it in your mind. Thoughts come up and that's okay, acknowledge you're having a thought and tell it to come back later if you need to. Come back to your chant and repeat it in a calm rhythmic fashion for as long as you need.

POSITIVE/NEGATIVE JOURNALING

This type of journaling challenges the negative thoughts/experiences you carry about yourself and brings attention to the positive experiences and thoughts yourself and others have of you. Often, negative thoughts and experiences stand out in our minds over the positive ones. It takes intention to fully recall the positive in times of struggle. It can also help you to identify negative and positive people in your life.

How to: You can do this throughout the day (especially if you struggle with memory). If that doesn't work for you, you can do this at the end of the day. For this practice it is best to carry your journal with you, or make notes in your phone. Section your page into two parts, one for positive, one for negative.

In the negative section, write down your negative thoughts that you have throughout the day. You can star or highlight ones that were the strongest or most repetitive. Also write down negative statements that others say to you, careful not to write down your interpretations of what you think they said.

In the positive section, write down any positive thoughts you have throughout the day about yourself or life. Also write down any compliments or positive interactions from others. You can star or highlight ones that you felt strongly or meant a lot to you.

Example: Negative

-i'm such an idiot

-i'm so ugly***

-i'm never going to stop feeling this way

-why can't i do more?

-i'm useless***

-"why are you like this? you're so lazy"*** (mother)

Positive

+i love my cat***

+i enjoyed my commute to school

+my hair looks pretty good today

+"you're so funny" (schoolmate)

+"i love your jacket! it looks great on you!"*** (woman at the store)

You can go over this at the end of the week or month and take note of what messages are repeated frequently. How can you start to challenge the negative recurring thoughts? Can you work on believing and seeing more of the positive? Is there somewhere or someone that tends to bring up negative situations, thoughts, feelings? Is there somewhere or someone who tends to bring up positive situations, thoughts, feelings? Are there some boundaries you need to set around certain places or people?

If you're having trouble finding the positive and don't feel you receive any positive remarks, consider asking yourself if you are closing yourself off from others. Try making small gestures every time you go out. Smile at a stranger (you can still see a smile with a mask on!), give a genuine compliment, hold the door for someone, look people in the eye when you say thank you. These things aren't always appreciated, but the more you practice giving kindness, the more you are open to receiving it in return and eventually you will note a difference.

You can take this practice further. Start collecting your compliments somewhere you can come back to them when you need a confidence boost. You can put them together on a sheet of paper on your wall, post it notes, keep them in a separate journal entry. It can be difficult to take compliments, especially when coming from a place of self hate or lack of self worth. We have a tendency to minimize, forget, overthink or doubt all together other's positive views of us. We might think, "you don't know the real me" as we know all of our darkest thoughts and misgivings. However, chances are we don't know the real us either! While occasionally, some people may be trying to "sweet talk" with compliments, most of the time they come from a genuine place and they see something in us that we might have convinced ourselves isn't true.

tODAY I NOTICED... JOURNALING

Today I noticed... is a great prompt for getting in touch with your inner knowing and emotions.

How to: Anytime you connect the dots, write it down!

dream JOURNALING

Our dreams are a way for our brains to process our real life struggles and interactions in uninhibited ways. It is a way for our subconscious to explore and to play out experiences in a safe space. They can give us subtle (or sometimes not so subtle) messages about things happening in our daily life.